Gasp…Gaps!
Do you ever have a moment when you realize you’ve made an obvious oversight in childrearing? I’m talking the super-embarrassing, “I can’t believe we missed that” moments. The times you forgot to teach your child their zip code, how to tie their shoes, where the stamp goes on an envelope, or- ya know, math. Fun fact: This will 99% of the time occur in front of your pediatrician, mother-in-law, or someone in the 60+ age range. And if you homeschool, well, any day is a pop quiz in the court of public opinion.
The stress to get.it.right is off the charts. As if modeling how to grow and function as a human isn’t enough, their entire educational pursuits rest squarely on our shoulders. No pressure.
If you can relate, so can I. Have I mentioned the time I forgot to teach spelling…for the entire 2nd grade year? Oh man, how did I do that (or rather, not do that)?! Gasp! Gaps, much? Um, sure are.
Gaps in our learning. We have them. You have them. And newsflash: public and private schoolers have them too. Yet, somewhere along the way, we’ve absorbed this message it’s our sole responsibility to teach our children EVERYTHING THEY WILL EVER NEED TO KNOW.
Not only is that completely unreasonable, it’s also false. Every child has gaps in their learning. Things they missed. Things that didn’t connect at that developmental stage. Things that don’t make sense. Things they just have little to no aptitude to learn. Things I missed despite my very mindful efforts. Things I simply chose not to teach. Yep, I said it. (I’m looking at you Order-of-the-U.S.-Presidents.)
Here’s the beauty and permission to pause the daily criticism of your homeschool: Gaps are going to exist. No matter who you are or what you teach. No child knows every single thing they will ever need to know for the rest of their lives. And neither do you. Phew!
Hands down, the biggest “cleansing breath” I can take during a homeschool mama meltdown is to repeat the words of my homeschool BFF. I mean, technically, she doesn’t know I exist, but I listen to her podcast all the time. So, I mean, there’s that.
Sarah Mackenzie of Read-Aloud Revival echoes this sentiment repeatedly. (Also, I can’t recommend her podcast, website, and premium membership enough. No kickbacks for me either because, again, she doesn’t know we’re besties.)
Yes, there will be gaps. That’s okay. We’re raising learners, not graders and box-checkers. Learners. Children, into adolescents, into adults who continue to ask meaningful questions in pursuit of Truth and experience. Learners.
You know the prerequisite for being a learner? Gaps. No one pursues knowledge if there’s nothing new to learn. We only read more, dive deeper, question thoughtfully, and process thoughts when there’s a gap in understanding.
Gaps don’t define us. They’re not holes and deficits. They’re data. Gaps serve as deductive clues, honing in on areas requiring focus. When my low fuel light flashes on my Flex, I don’t drive home, curl up in my bed, and cry because I failed it. No, I get myself to a gas station within the next 50 miles. I shift my current priority to give focus to what’s needed. My Flex isn’t telling me it’s broken. It’s giving me data.
Next time your child forgets the state capitals, how to tell time, or blanks on their parts of speech and sentence structure, remember: it’s just a gap, and gaps are just data. You’re not alone in this. I’m praying for you, friend…all along the way.